Is anyone listening?

     My husband has had a cough and trouble breathing for a couple of months. I asked him on several occasions to call his doctor. We were camping with some friends and he started coughing and then quit breathing. That was a wake up call.      I had a doctor appointment and he went with me. He was telling the nurse what was going on. They immediately took him back and did x-rays and blood work. That was a Tuesday. On Wednesday they called and said they had scheduled at CAT scan for Friday.  They called on Monday and said we had to go to Pittsburgh on Wednesday for a biopsy. On Friday June 17, 2022 we got the call. Small cell carcinoma. Three masses. One in the left lung the size of a gold ball. Two more in the right lung. We are scheduled to go to the Oncologists on June 28. He will have a PET scan before that appointment. So just like that our world is in a tail spin. Are you listening?

So in my previous post I said that this was the worst year ever. Karma took that as a challenge. A white cop killed a black man for basically no reason. People of color began to protest. A white supremacist group decided to step that up a notch and caused rioting. There were many peaceful protests in this valley. Last night a woman decided she was going to drive through the middle of a peaceful protest. She was detained by a white cop who then let her go because there was not enough evidence to arrest her. IT WAS FILMED AND PUT ON TV. So if things aren't bad enough with my stress level at DEFCON 3 my son decides to have a mental breakdown and accuses me of being a racist and a Trump supporter. Now I must tell you that his 3 beautiful children and his wife are people of color. I love them with all my heart. So you can imagine how this broke my heart. What started it? He made a Facebook post about Donald Trump's father. I researched it to see if it was valid. It was in part val...

I have not blogged since 2014. It is now 2020 and the worst year this country has seen in a long time. We are quarantined. We are supposed to stay home. Oh and wash our hands. For it is the year of COVID-19 the Coronavirus. It's everywhere. On the news, on Facebook, in conversations. I have decided to put down on "paper" exactly what I am going through. I have worked since I was 16 accept for the time I took to have my babies. 6 weeks and I was back at work. So I have been working a long time. Now I am at home, not working. Well, not working for an employer. I want to tell my story. I want to talk about my anxiety. I want to tell you what I do all day and how I feel. I know there are people out there that have it worse than me. The problems is I can't see it. I can't feel it. I only know what is happening in my bubble. Today I worry about my husband, Jim. He is a clerk at the Post Office. He works at the counter. He is truly on the front lines. I have visite...

I haven't written in a long time. I haven't felt the inspiration I guess. Yesterday I got my donation bucket for Relay for Life and my tickets to sell for the Bar Crawl. A lot of people that I know have lost loved ones to cancer this year. I have lost many to cancer over the years. The one I never talk about is Charlotte. She was my first. Let me tell you about her. Charlotte stormed into my life in the 70's. She only entered the room last and with a flourish that brought the attention of everyone in the room. She always smiled. She always spoke her true mind. I was a shy 20 something that had two babies that we were trying to raise. Charlotte owned a race truck. My husband and brother-in-law were the crew chiefs for her. She never rode in the truck. There was a driver that was paid and co-drivers were always celebrity guests. Charlotte awed me with statements like "Don't whine that something is broke. Buy a book, learn to fix it and then fix it." My husba...

I have a lot of brothers.  Six to be exact.  Some I know, some I don't.  We have a big family.  Eleven total.  We fight, we get mad, but we have always loved each other. I have one brother (Rich) that died of cancer.  He was older but I knew him.  I went and said goodbye when he was still alive.  I cried when he died.  But he is not the one I feel the loss for.  I'm talking about Greg. I always loved Greg.  We were close.  Just two years apart.  Two years from Greg, two years from Denise.  I was the "middle child."  We were the Three Musketeers, together forever.  Then the changes came.  Too many changes.  Greg was in a terrible car accident and broke his back.  Then I got married and moved away.  Not long after that Dad died.  Then Denise got addicted to drugs.  Then things got better. I moved back home.  I wanted it to be like it was before the changes.  I wa...

They are everywhere.  Today one is in my daughter's head.  She used and used and used until she couldn't use anymore.  Not my daughter, the stupid person.  She wanted something for nothing.  And she actually got it for awhile.  Let me try and explain. You go to the grocery store and pick out your groceries.  You get to the checkout and you don't have any money.  So you tell the girl waiting on you that you are a licensed daycare provider and you will watch her child in exchange for groceries.  This goes on for awhile.  One day you have enough groceries and tell the girl you would like to be paid cash money. The girl tells you OK, I'll pay you.  Then she goes home and thinks about it.  She decides she wants you to pay for all the groceries she gave you plus some of hers.  Pretty stupid huh? Is anybody listening?